


Deus Ex Machina

by eclectuslink



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe, Eventual Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-22 13:51:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4837613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eclectuslink/pseuds/eclectuslink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A virus is released into the world that corrupts humans. <br/>Kaneki, having lost all his memories, is tasked with watching over and protecting, but not interacting with, one of the remaining humans. But what will happen when he starts to develop feelings that he shouldn't even be capable of feeling for this human? </p><p>(How do you write summaries...?∑(;°Д°)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So before you read this, I've written one (unfinished) fic before for a COMPLETELY different fandom, so... I hope this is satisfactory. And, since I have school work, and tend to get lazy, the updates on this will probably be slow. So... Read at your own risk? Also this opening chapter will probably make no sense, I promise to make it more clear as it goes on, but for now- You have been warned
> 
> Also this is self-beta'd so if there's any errors please let me know- thank you and enjoy! ⁽(◍˃̵͈̑ᴗ˂̵͈̑)⁽

 

          It’s strange... I’m falling again… It feels so unnatural as the wind rushes through my closing fingers, still trying to grasp at anything around me…

          I never liked this feeling of uncertainty, no knowledge of all below and above and around. Everything I thought I knew; everything I thought was so important is just… _gone_.

          I try to open my eyes but I can’t, as if they too want me to stay shrouded in the closing darkness and emptiness of my mind.

          I expect myself to fall deeper into the darkness within me, to finally allow my insanity to take me over and wrap those eerily glowing arms back around me, enclosing me into the pain that always seemed to follow in my wake. I wait for it, resolved to accept that I would _finally_ get what I deserved.

 

But it never comes. I just keep falling…

 

           I try to cry out in anguish at the realization that this is the end of me _. NO!_ My mind screams, I _want_ to be punished, I _want_ to suffer! _Why can’t I just have this one thing? Why can’t you let me suffer? Can’t you see that I deserve it?_ But the words feel weighted on my tongue, and I’m unable to utter a sound… A cold feeling swells throughout me, not filled with pain or sadness but… absent? It feels sterile, like the metal in a hospital room, and yet it doesn’t bother me…  The uncertainty of it all feels different, and a soft haze began to fill me mind...

           Waves wash over me in soft grey tones until the anger and self-hatred is nothing more than a face in the crowd.

           And somehow it feels good to be in free fall for once in my life, to not know if I would fall to my death… or fly…

 

♠ ♠ ♠

 

            My eyes snap open to stare up at a white ceiling. I try to lift my head, but it feels... _heavy?_ , and locked in place. Unable to look around me I rely upon my ears, but the only sound apparent is a peculiar humming emitting from my chest. 

            Suddenly a feeling of panic fills me, _I’ve forgotten… I have to leave! If I don’t…_ I thrash against the restraints I now feel on my arms and legs, but I can’t move… _NO!_ My mind screams at me, it pulses angrily at my current situation. _I have to get out of here! I still need to find-_

            All light ceases at an instant, and my body shuts down beneath me

 

 ♠ ♠ ♠

 

           The next time I awake everything is different… I’m still lying in the white room, with ticking noises and humming sensations continuously running throughout my surroundings, but the curious phantom feeling from before has left me, and I can no longer remember why I was so upset… _I needed to find… someone_ But whom? The uncertainty fills me head with desperation. _What was so important for me to remember?_ I furrow my brows in thought; a feeling as though I’m about to grasp the answer that is toying with my mind rises up before an intense throbbing echo’s throughout my body from my head. I gasp loudly and sit up, clutching my pulsing head in my hands, and pressing my eyes tight as possible. _Go away… go away…please go away!…._ I plead in a mantra before a light coughing pulls my attention to a man sitting in a chair across from the… _Platform?_ I’m sitting on.

            He sitting on the chair as if he’s been sitting there for a long time, just observing me. His form is thin and tall and his face is long and narrow, as if the skin is the only thing between the outside air and his bones. It stretches in an unnatural alabaster hue across his body, _is there even any blood in his veins?_ I wonder, unable to move my gaze from his skeletal form. A patch of grey-silver hair is atop his head, and his eyes are a steely blue, almost colorless, not piercing, but simply… _absent_. As if the life within him had been sucked out and left his body a vessel for other minds. An uneasy feeling rises within me as I shiver under his gaze.

            “It seems you are awake.” He states. His voice is even deader than his appearance; its cold tone makes me bristle and shiver again.

            “Where-“ I begin. My voice sounds hoarse, weak, and _foreign_ in my ears.

            “That is not important, all you need to know is that you will not be leaving here for sometime.” He cuts me off. My mind is now racing, _I can’t stay here! I need…_ Then the throbbing in my head returns, and I wince pulling on my hair in agony once again. I hear a soft, and icy chuckle from across the room, and lift my eyes to see the man smiling in malice at me. “Don’t worry,” he says, “You’ll forget soon enough… After all you don’t need your memories in here…” A panicky feeling rises up in me again at his words. And I watch him with horror as he stands up from the white plastic chair and advances on me. Instinctively I back away against the wall behind my ‘bed’, but he doesn’t stop. And then in a flash he’s right next to me, and his icy, long fingers wrap behind my head sending warnings throughout my body before I soft click resonates in the room, and the same darkness encompasses me once more.

 

♠ ♠ ♠

 

            The third time I awake the humming noise still persists around me, as I try to ignore it. My eyes drift upwards noticing that the man from before is gone. In his place is a man with slicked back white hair, and soft deep brown eyes watching me with kindness, but there’s something else underlying his soft gaze… And despite his warm appearance my body tenses beneath him.

            “Hello.” He begins; his voice is pleasant and smooth, as if he can feel the fear coursing through me at the events of the last three days. _Three days? Has it really been that long?_ I open my mouth to respond but he cuts in first, “I bet your wondering what you’re doing here.” I stare up at him expectantly as a small smile lifts his thin lips. “You see, you are going to be part of the new world!” His voice rises in excitement, but his words offer me no understanding. _New world? What is he talking about?_ “Let me explain a little first, you see my dear boy, our world is currently in chaos, many don’t realize this but it is very likely that the human population will soon be wiped out. A few months ago a virus broke loose, and has been turning humans into…” He trails off looking down from my eyes before returning my gaze, “Well, let’s just say _not human_ , anyways, the only way this virus can spread is if an infected person is to bite the non-infected.” An amused smile graces his lips before he speaks again, “think of it as if the infected are vampires who have lost their souls.” He finishes, still smiling softly at me.

            “But…” I begin, my mind swimming in all this new information. “What does that have to do with me?” I ask, looking up into his deep brown eyes.

            “Well, you see, you are here to protect those humans.” He smiles again.

            “But I’m-“

            “Don’t worry about anything, you will understand soon enough” He turns to leave. And my mind still can’t comprehend any of this information. _What is he talking about?! I can’t protect anyone I’m just… me…_ A cold unknown voice rises from within me at these thoughts…

 

 _That’s right_ , _you’re worthless…_

I shiver at the prickly feeling it brings, and look back to the door the man exited from. A silvery hallway leads out of the door, and I slowly stand up and walk gingery to it. My body aches and feels heavy with each step. Finally I reach the door, and crane my neck slowly to peer into the hallway. All along it are doors similar to mine leading the end.

            “About time you got up,” says an icy voice behind me, just as I was about the exit the room. I turn my head to look straight back into those colorless eyes from before, except much closer this time. I gulp subconsciously as the man grins at my rising fear.  He’s wearing glasses now, and suddenly grips my arm, and pulls me from my room. “There’s no more time for you to spend sleeping, come with me.” He drags me down the hallway, as my muscles flail weakly against his vice grip. _What’s wrong with me?_ I wonder at my weak limbs.

            We exit the door on the end and enter another plain room with a table and two chairs. _How big is this place?_ I wonder, still lost as to where I am. The man shoves me into the chair and seats himself across from me.

            “Can-“

            “From now on you are going to say nothing.” He interjects, his eyes fierce and reserved. I nod solemnly, my eyes wide and palms splayed onto the cold table before me. “Listen carefully, for the purpose of saving the human race, from now on you will be assigned a person to protect at all costs until you are no longer necessary. You must understand that you are _not_ human, you must not associate with, or contact this person, you are not permitted to interact with them in anyway besides observing and interjecting if necessary, understand?” I nod weakly, my head drumming in fear. The soft ticking and humming surrounding me is suddenly louder.

 

_I am not human._

            “You have been created for the sole purpose of protecting this person, and if you interfere with their life in anyway _other_ than you are assigned you will be _terminated_ ” the word falls like a dagger from his lips hitting me directly. My body begins to tremble, but I say nothing, I’m too afraid to speak despite my confusion and fear. “ I will not answer what I suppose to be your question: what am I?” I look back into his eyes out of curiosity, _yes, please tell me!_ I scream out inside, still uttering nothing to the man before me. “This is classified information so you cannot know everything, however you should understand that long ago part of you was once human.” My heart lurches at those words, and my mind races s. _What am I?_ Fills though my mind in a quavering voice. “But now you are only a half of what you used to be.” He continues. _What?_ I think to myself, staring back at him for any further explanation. He holds up a mirror to my face and curiously I stare at the image before me.

 

            A man looks at me through the mirror, his hair is an unnatural shaggy white, drifting outward unevenly, his face looks doused with fear, and his cheeks appear slightly hollowed out under his pale skin. A thin pale mouth sits beneath two wide eyes. But as I look in these eyes my being fills with fear at _my_ features. My right eye stares back at me with a soft grey color, but my left resembles the malfunctioning light on a machine. It glows blood red, and beneath the glow is the shine of silver machinery. My eyes widen in horror, as a realization dawns on me.

 

            The noises I’ve been hearing this whole time aren’t from some outside source, and the true meaning behind the unnatural heaviness of my body... The ticking within my chest picks up, as I raise my eyes to meet the man before me who looks at me with a cruel satisfaction.

 

            “That’s right,” he begins, voice dripping censure at my discomfort, and pain, “The only part of you that’s fully human is that right eye.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said this would most likely update on weekends, but because of the holiday I had some extra free time this week! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و  
> Also, the POV in this chapter is third person, which is what I intended to do from the beginning, but I wanted to have the first chapter be from Kaneki’s POV, so third person is what it will usually be.  
> Also you'll probably notice that this begins with Hide's POV-which will be happening in a few cases.
> 
> Anyways enjoy! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و

         

            A loud blaring beep broke him from his pleasant state of blissful ignorance that he was must likely _already_ late. The disgruntled man with golden hair, that despite being obviously the product of repeated bleaching, still possessed an unnatural softness, making his slightly above shoulder length hair appear like honey turned with a groan on his bed. Pulling his thin knit blanket over his head in an act of protest against the light streaming in from his clouded windows he twisted and turned against the demons of light trying to thwart his evil plans of darkness. But this did not stop the obnoxious sound emanating from the small grey box beside his bed. So, Hide heaved himself up and threw a shoe at it before grumbling his way back to sleep.

♠ ♠ ♠

            “Oh Shiiiiiiii…” Hide sat up wide awake, his glittering amber eyes catching the light from his windows that he had previously fought so hard to avoid with a wince after realizing, about fifteen minuets later, that he _actually_ had to be on time today due to ~~falling asleep~~  some… _issues_ paying attention in class the day before. Not to mention the fact that he couldn’t find _anything_ in his apartment! So he opted for throwing on an orange hoodie over the random tee shirt, probably displaying some band name on it, that he woke up in, and quickly dragged his hand through his flaxen hair before rushing out of his apartment.

             Hide always liked to think that he was a very pleasant person. No, he _knew_ he was a pleasant person. But he did realize that some people just don’t share or appreciate his optimistic attitude towards life. And he was okay with that, but that didn’t mean he was going to stop trying… So, as he left his messy apartment, strewn with dirty clothes, broken CD boxes, and empty coffee cups that had more cream in them than actual coffee to get to school, just as he did everyday he made sure to knock on his landlady’s door and offer her some of his cheerful vibe.

            “Good morning ma’am” Hide greeted smiling brightly as his landlady opened her door. As soon as she peeked out her messy grey hair, and laid her dull black-brown eyes on his goofy grin she glared at him, not bothering to even attempt to hide any of her disapproval. She merely grunted at his presence, a low sound that sounded clouded with mucus, and who _knows_ what else...

            “Just so we’re clear Nagachika, your new neighbor will be arriving tomorrow, so you might want to keep the obnoxious music _off_ for a change…” Her voice spat out with a gravely tone, her eyes becoming more contemptuous, if that was even possible.

            “I know! I’m so excided to finally have a fellow college student around! Just think about…”He said before realizing that she was already closing the door on his glinting, bleached hair and intense orange clothing that only he could _ever_ pull off, “Remember Mrs. Landlady it’s Hide- H-i-d-e!!!” He hollered excitedly in her door just before it closed, and then set off a shimmering piece of glass in the concrete jungle.

            Hide’s days often followed a very set schedule, which was odd considering how sporadic his personality was. He would start off by getting coffee at a local quaint shop that wasn’t too far from campus, and annoying the barista’s-but he knew they all secretly loved his corny puns, and then he would head off to his classes at Kami, which would last him until about 5:30pm, and from there it was straight to work at the convenience store until closing at 11. So, he was a very busy person… that is once he woke up at 10 everyday…

            But not today! Nope, his manager was sick today, and would return tomorrow, so he would be able to head straight back after school, and _finally_ get some sleep! Heck, he might even clean up his apartment! (or not…) He was practically _bouncing_ off the sidewalk with the possibilities before him.

            He quickly neared the next corner when realization struck him smack in the face (in the form of his own palm). He forgot his headphones. And there was _no flippin’ way_ he was sitting through a _single_ lecture without them! So he did the only logical thing for a twenty two year old college student who knew he was going to be late if he turned back now…

            He ran all the way back to his apartment and hammered up the stairs, wheezing out breaths as he pounded up the concrete stairs, not bothering to wonder if it would break beneath his feet. But as he neared the top of the steps he heard rushed shuffling coming from his floor, and only managed to see a flutter of white enter the door beside his before a loud slam resounded across the whole apartment complex.

            He curiously approached the door upon realizing that this mean't his new neighbor had arrived a day early and was completely prepared to knock on his door and talk his ear off about this new band he just found before he realized that, a) He probably seriously freaked them out already by how suddenly he came up the stairs, b) he _still_ had to get his headphones, and c) he was already twenty minuets late to class…

            So, with a pout and long face Hide rushed into his own apartment, miraculously managing to find his headphones despite the constant disarray of his room, and rushed off to class.

            But for the rest of the day the blonde could not get that flash of white out of his head, and his anticipation only built up as the day progressed, until he finally decided that the two of them we’re having coffee after he was done at school, no matter what!

 

♠ ♠ ♠

            _This was it._

            A single liquid silver eye looked up cautiously at the stained concrete building before him, it’s cracked, worn grey walls identical to the rest of the crumbling city. The surface of the building bore a strange coldness that seemed a theme of the area, and made the stranger before it want to shiver, or briskly walk away. Wind whistled through the dark alleys that never really saw light beyond the sputtering of a single dripping yellow box, fluttering the nervous viewer’s white locks.

            A wave of realization that this was perhaps _not_ the best place to stand considering why he was there hit the owner of the translucent grey eye. He glanced around him for bystanders before turning his head away from the building, with a speed that was not quite natural. Trying to keep his footsteps soft and light, he ducked into the nearby alley and checked once again for anyone noticing his somewhat odd behavior before pulling out a single slip of paper.

 

_Hideyoshi Nagachika_

 

           Although the name was already burned into his mind, he felt a curious need to look at it… Which he convinced himself was strictly due to the importance of his task. After allowing his dusky eye to linger upon the black lettering for a few second more than necessary, he skimmed down the rest of the page to the address printed below the name.

            Yep, this was indeed the place… But it seemed so… _exposed…_ he thought silently, before realizing how stupid that observation was.

            “That’s the whole point!” he whispered harshly to himself before making sure for the twentieth time _that day_ that Nagachika would _not_ be at the apartment… After all, the _last_ thing he needed after those tortuous months of training was to screw up day one.

            Gingerly, he pressed his unoccupied hand to his chest, hearing the all too familiar _tick   tick   tick   tick,_ as he waited for his ‘heart’ to resume a more natural state before neatly folding the paper back up and pressing it into his pocket. He readjusted the medical eye patch over his left eye before glancing around one final time, and turning back to the decaying building.

            His footsteps echoed out into the eerily quiet street as he approached the dented metal door and tapped his fist lightly against it’s chilled surface. After a few seconds, not without a slightly louder humming sensation, the door hissed open to reveal a stout slightly elderly woman wearing a sour look upon her face.

            “H-hello ma’am I’m-“

            “Kaneki correct?” she cut off with a cold look up and down at his misleadingly lanky figure, her eyes lingering upon the place where his left eye remains hidden from the world. She then looked at him with an expectant glare, her frowning lips drawing down further at his baffled state.

            “Y-yes!” Kaneki replied with a slightly high overtone, caught off guard by the landlady’s stern presence, and somewhat disapproving gaze. He blinked quickly before speaking again, this time more sure of himself. “I’m assuming Arima called you already, I would’ve come tomorrow as scheduled except we really needed the space back at my Aunt’s house, and simply could no longer wait.” He finishes, brushing his thin pale fingers softly against the chilled skin of his chin, and offering her an apologetic, practiced smile.

            “Not to worry, the room is ready” she replied, returning none of kindness he offered her, and turning away to pull out a set of dirty, ashen keys, bearing a thin 7 imprinted within the worn metal. She held out the slightly rusted keys to him, “here you go, but if I hear any complaints down the hallway don’t count on staying here long. We already have one noisy college student to deal with.” He face was void of emotion as she spoke, as if talking to him was the most mundane thing in the world.

            “I understand” Kaneki replied hastily, gently taking the keys from her small, cubby hands, and nodding his head as she slammed the door shut. The gust of stale air from the lady’s apartment hit his face, making him blink rapidly and shake his head in an attempt to get his mussed up hair back in order. He walked down from the metal door, and over to a staircase that lead up to his apartment, still cautious of any sound others might hear from him. Coming to the end of the level he stopped one door short of his.

            _I know I shouldn’t do this but…_ His hand reached out to touch his new neighbor’s door, oddly expecting something to change within him by touching it. He had spent so long obsessed with this idea, the promise to _finally_ escape that sterile white room, and the cold, dead eyes of everyone else within the facility, as they looked his mangled body up and down with pure disgust and contempt. But now that he was out he felt like everything would change, that just by being close to this pure being would awaken the warmth he once held beneath his skin, bring back the color to his life.

That this person could make him _human_ again… if he _just touched…_

 

_Clack clack clack!_

            The sound of steps approaching up the concrete stairs broke his gaze, and Kaneki’s eyes widened, suddenly faced with the possibility of being discovered before he could have any hope to begin. He moved as quickly as possible over to his respective door and jammed the key in, turning it in a sloppy, but hasty manner before shutting it with a loud echoing slam. He winced slightly at the noise rethinking the landlady’s previous warning, but still locking it behind him without consideration for the noise. He could get kicked out if he had to, that was acceptable, he just could not afford to fail, _not ever._

            Kaneki let his body fall to the floor, breathing out a soft sigh of relief that he made it inside his new apartment without being spotted. His listened though the thin wall to hear the door next to his creak open and close softly before scrambling back to his feet.

            Finally convinced that it was okay to resume his instructions upon arrival he began to inspect the room before him. The place was in a word… gloomy. The walls were a plain not-quite white, a cup stained small table sat by a small kitchen, _not that he would need it anyways_ , there was a bookshelf on one side, and a small hall leading to two other doors. Kaneki let out another sigh realizing that eventually he would have to put _something_ in here considering how much time he would now be spending in this room. He padded softly over to the empty, and slightly dusty, bookshelf placing a binder and several notebooks for observations on it.

            “At least it’s something…” He breathed out, feeling strangely melancholy at the sight of his new home. But he knew that this could never be his home, he had given up the idea of home a long time ago…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clarify really quickly. The reason I put Kaneki's "kakugan" on his left is because I take animation classes and the subjects right and left is always their right and left, not the viewer's, so yea...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Screw indentations- they’re too much work!  
> Also sorry the beginning of this fic has been a little dry- I had to get all the characters out there first, but the action (the good part) starts in this chapter! And it shall not be boring again! Thank you for sticking with me  
> Also, as usual this is self-beta'd so please point out any serious errors on my part and I shall fix them!  
> Enjoy~  
> (Also for some reason my computer is weird and posts double notes that I've already posted... so please ignore those!)

“YOU’RE WHAT?!” a usually upbeat and smooth voice cracked out, earning its bronze-eyed owner quite a few judgmental stares and glances from the swarm of caffeine-overdosed college students. The looks swept right over the honey-haired man, as he looked wide-eyed around at this sluggish day, curious to see if it could get _any worse_.

“Yea, I’m not _sick_ , genius!” A static-filled, and extremely sarcastic voice rang out from the phone pressed to the sheet of blonde locks, which had been polluted to more of a mop of hair than it’s usual cascading waterfall.

“But- bu huh….” The blonde whined into the phone at the anger of his supervisor.

“WE’ve been over this Nagachika! Sick is code for: I’m at my other flippin’ job because I HAVE A LIFE! And I can’t afford to sleep in everyday and then half-ass my classes like _some people_ I know, not: Hide get’s a day off!” The voice cracked out from the small, slightly bent device that the blonde had to physically hold away from his face. “Now, you’re going to get your ass to that store right now, or else you’re fired!” A loud slam from the other side made the crestfallen man flinch, and pull the phone away form his ear with a snap. Hide glanced up at the straggling students still watching him angrily for disturbing their half-zombie state, and huffed out a sigh of reluctant acceptance before sluggishly turning towards the convince store.

They’re we few, if any, things Hide hated in this world. However, if he had to make a list, his job was DEFINETLY number one out of all of them. Firstly, the whole place was lit with florescent lights that oddly flickered against the falsely white walls, like he was in some insane asylum (which it may’ve well have been!) and they constantly hummed like a mechanical fly that was missing and wing and constantly buzzing pathetically over his head. Secondly, his co-worker, besides his manager, was ALWAYS bugging him about dating her. And for some reason she thought she wasn’t obvious… Like that one instance when he had brought a midnight snack one of the women in his apartment complex made him, and after asking _at least_ five times who gave it to him, she _still_ sat fuming in the corner of the store, and glaring at every girl who walked in, regardless if they bought anything or not. Finally, the only people who even came in the godforsaken store to begin with, at the ridiculous hours he worked, we’re creepy old men looking at teenage girl magazines (something Hide tried _desperately_ not to think about…), college kids buying instant coffee and ramen, who would sit there and stare at him for like ten minuets after he already gave them back their change, their eyes not quite focused on his, and eerily unblinking (even the thought of it made him shiver), and lastly pathetically giggling couples coming in to buy condoms, or some other sex prerequisite, all the while hanging all over each other’s slobbering mouths right in front of him, for _waaaaaaaay_ longer than necessary.

And of _all_ the days to get stuck with suffering these terms, it was the same day that his manager was absent, the same day that he slept through almost an _entire_ lecture, and the _same day_ that his new neighbor arrived.

_I mean seriously?!_ The boy with ash hair pursed looking up defiantly to the dark, and blotchy sky as he continued on his way to that _death trap_ of a store. Being without Nishio Sempai was _bad enough_ considering that meant he had to deal with that girl breathing down his neck all night! But combined with everything else he went through that day it _just_ …

“Ugggggghhhhhh!” He let out a frustrated groan at his misfortune as his feet stomped angrily across the cracked, gum riddled pavement.

Normally Hide wouldn’t even be this upset. But there was something about the way that translucent, alabaster hair fluttered swiftly thorough the air made Hide’s heart stutter, and his amber eyes crave to see it again…

_NO!_ He thought firmly to himself, breaking his mind away from the hypnotizing memory that clung to him the entire day with a seductive voice, beckoning him back into its grasp. Hide shook out his bleached hair once again before pulling his somewhat obnoxiously bright headphones over his ears to silence that oddly elusive calling, and perhaps convey to his work colleague that he wasn’t up for talking of any kind.

♠ ♠ ♠

_I guess I have no choice…_

Skin resembling, in more than oneway, fallen snow shifted nervously as the silver-eyed humanoid gulped in front of the crooked door. His eye nervously traced the rusted metal framing its center, and the lines of the chipped, brandished six that looked almost sunk into the soft deep grey of the door itself. His hands faltered slightly as he fumbled with the smooth metallic objects clutched between his cold, spindle-like fingers. Despite the fact that he was no longer human there was still something that felt wrong about picking a lock… _Especially_ when the person whose apartment he was breaking into in the first place was the person _he_ was meant to protect.

Nevertheless he still had to do it. So, reluctantly the quartz-haired man dipped down swiftly, and silently to his feet and thrust the metallic objects within the lock. He waited for his super-sensitive ears to pick up the sound of each grimy pin to raise before turning the small instruments very slowly as the door gave way and creaked open.

Carefully the man withdrew the tools and pulled the door open a little more, before bending his body to silently lurk into the room.

Long, ghostly fingers pressed softly at the metallic door, closing its worn lips with a soft click before searching nervously across the wall to flick the lights.

But the lights ended up being futile since Kaneki had to physically shield his eyes from the blinding theme to the room. Cracking open the soft grey eye slowly, as to not let the apartment’s owner’s… _interesting_ sense of style ruin the one part of him that he actually liked, Kaneki was hit with the realization than other than clearly not being cut out for interior design, this man was also a complete mess. Band tee-shirts and assortments of clothing that looked more like they were made of candy rather than actual fabric littered the scratched wood floors, and hung from lamps and tables. There was a wastebasket in the corner of the room that was overflowing with crumpled papers, and empty coffee cups, as well as more of the sort covering a desk that beard several chocolate stains, and ink from broken pens. The stiffly uncomfortable man gulped nervously, his ashen eye wide with horror at the state of his surroundings.

_How can a person survive in this disarray?_ His mind pondered, as his eyes ran over the deeply tangled plugs, and video game cords, sitting as tumbleweed within the colorful sea of CD, and movie boxes.

Graciously he tore his eye away from the spectacle of the room and back over to the desk. The CCG had only provided him with minimal information on the man, and in order to avoid all contact while maintaining his protective duty, he had to find everything he could about the man directly from the source. And to whatever remnants of a moral compass that remained within the mechanical man something about that prospect set him… _off._ Although he did not remember his past, something deep within him that was so rooted to his will to survive told him that if someone were to do the same to him he would lose _everything_. But nevertheless Kaneki did realize that he truly did have no choice, and reluctantly crept across the worn floorboards, identical to his own, to the “desk” across the collage of clothing, and boxes.

Once he _finally_ managed to get across the room without disturbing the delicate balance of insanity that themed the dingy apartment, he blew out a breath of relief, and swept his molten silver eye across the spread of papers and coffee cups. Most of what was upon the desk was referring to an Asian History class that he supposed was a course he took at Kamii, a name he also gathered from the various textbooks scattered upon the desk, and it seemed like the man spent most of his time at set college considering how many notes there were from others classes as well.

Long elegant fingers brushed across the hectic handwriting of the apartment owner, but despite the crooked and loopy style of the characters there was something about the penmanship that made the uncomfortable man smile slightly. For some reason the way the man worded his notes and had random arrows and connections scribbled across the pages as if the words were frolicking upon the page filled Kaneki’s half-mechanical heart with foreign warmth for this perplexing stranger. His mind caught up with him, and the smile fell from his face, forcing him to sweep away the notes to uncover the crumpled papers lying beneath. There was a list of songs written in English, a few expired lottery tickets, and a form for a job at some late night convenience store... everything else upon the desk seemed to be irrelevant, and Kaneki was _more_ than okay with leaving... Carefully he placed the papers back in the crooked angles which he found them, and crept back over, albeit awkwardly, to the door. Just as he had entered, he slowly creaked open the door and made his escape back into his own apartment.

 ♠ ♠ ♠ 

After several hours of planning Kaneki had _finally_ managed to create a schedule in which he would be able to observe, but not interfere with the enigma that was Hideyoshi Nagachika. He would start by taking morning classes at Kamii, since it seemed from the amount of sugar the other consumed he was _NOT_ a morning person, and then his ‘break’ would come while the other was in class, and Kaneki’s classes would resume after the other was out, then Kaneki would work at a local coffee shop while Nagachika was at the convenience store that closed a little before so that he could make sure nothing happened to the other on his way back.

Now the only thing left to do was enroll in courses, and actually get the job…

Which was how he found himself standing in front of a small quaint coffee shop, his knees trembling like the late autumn leaves that scattered around him as dry husks of their fleeting beauty slightly. Kaneki was never the most confident person, but due to his unnatural appearance he also tended to draw much more attention to himself in one day than he needed in a whole lifetime. Thus it was with awkward, and quivering steps that he climbed the small set of oddly steep stairs to the narrow glass door that read in black lettering _Anteiku._ He silently peered in through the door before softly pressing against its smooth surface as a chime rang out above his head. The interior of the café was lit with warm earthy colors and soft yellow lights. Although stylish the place felt… _homey_ and the same soft tingling and warmth seeped into his ticking body, resolving it to a soft hum. The whole place carried the smell of roasted coffee beans and old parchment, only further putting his mind at ease.

“Hey you! Eyepatch are you gonna sit or what?” An annoyed, and authoritative voice rang out across the soft atmosphere startling the feather-haired boy. Kaneki could feel the ticking sensation in his chest rise, as he slowly turned wide-eyed towards the clearly pissed chestnut-haired man across the counter.

“E-eyepatch?” Kaneki’s voice quavered out in utter confusion, and slight fear at the knowledge of what was truly behind that sheet of white. Even though he knew what his body was made of, that eye still haunted his nightmare’s, it hung as a constant reminder of what he could never be, what he truly was…

 

_A monster._

“Duh! Who else would it be? Now are you gonna order something or what?” The disgruntled man demanded with eyelids lowered in absolute boredom over Kaneki’s presence. Gulping nervously, and brushing his previous thoughts aside he walked slowly up to the counter.

“Actually I was hoping I could get a job here, I’m kinda new to this city and don’t have many talents besides coffee…” He trailed off nervously at the menacing stare the employee gave him in return. Brown eyes resembling directly the hair of their owner looked him up and down once before returning with a raised eyebrow to meet the ashen eye that stared owlishly back at him.

“Well, to be honest who we hire has nothing to do with me, I’m just a part-timer, you’re gonna have to talk to Yoshimura. He should be back there now…” he trailed off tossing his head to a wood door behind the counter.

“Thank you!” Kaneki replied moving cautiously to the door, the man grunting in response and walking off to go roast some more beans.

Kaneki pressed awkwardly against the door only to come face to face with a high school girl. Her stare was even more “done” with him than the brunette’s had been, and her single deep violet eye that wasn’t obscured by her matching hair looked him over before raising a single eyebrow at him in question.

“Sorry, I’m here to petition for a job” Kaneki replied, _jeez, was everyone who worked here so passive aggressive?_ He wondered at the girls withering stare.

“Yea, back there” she replied before roughly pushing past him to assist the other with the growing crowd that had accumulated suddenly.

“You’ll have to excuse them” a soft voice called out behind him. “They can get very… ticked off easily.” Kaneki looked up to meet with a crinkled face, that didn’t looked washed out and papery like Doctor Kanou’s nor menacing and extreme like his new landlady’s but just… genuine. “If they gave you any trouble I’ll talk to them, sometimes they forget that working here means one needs to be hospitable.” Kaneki shook his head in protest before clearing his throat.

“No, it’s quite alright sir I was just startled a little…” For some reason being around this weathered man made him feel like he could be himself, he didn’t need to put up a front to protect himself, he could just be… The elderly man smiled down at him, his eyes crinkling in a way that held some greater knowledge beneath the surface, as if he understood everything that happened to Kaneki, _but that was impossible…_

“I understand you were looking for a job here.”

“Y-yes!” Kaneki stuttered out after returning to reality.

“Well we need someone to close up, if that’s alright with you…” Mr. Yoshimura offered.

“That would be excellent thank you so much!” Kaneki replied, “If you want I can start now since it’s almost five anyways…”

“That would be wonderful” Mr. Yoshimura replied before returning to the back room, and handing Kaneki a uniform consisting of black dress pants, a white shirt, a black vest, and lastly a black tie that the other employee’s had also adorned. “This is your uniform, your expected to keep it clean, and Touka and Nishiki will show you the ropes. Oh, how silly of me I don’t believe I got your name…”

“Sorry sir! It’s Kaneki Ken.” Yoshimura smiled at the young man as Kaneki returned to the now bustling café.

 ♠ ♠ ♠

Typically radiant ecru eyes, that currently looked washed out with sleep deprivation, looked gloomily at the intensely lighted false faces of the magazines across from him, trying to look _anywhere_ but at the eye’s of his co-worker he could feel burning into his back.

_Gahhhhh!_ _When does this shift END?!_ Hide whined to himself, secretly cursing Nishio sempai under his breath. Those damn manager! He seriously couldn’t let him have ONE DAY! He knew how psycho that girl was, but from the moment he walked into the shop she was even more hateful that usual! _And he hadn’t even done anything! Heck! He didn’t even get coffee from Touka this morning!!!_ The sunken eyes of the citron haired man dragged up to the clock behind him. _Thank GOD! Only ten more minuets of this crap, and then I get to go home…_ He had given up hope of listening to music long ago at his co-workers further discomfort caused by it, and had been leaning against the counter in that exact position for several hours. Deciding that since clearly no one was crazy enough to be out this late, and closing a few minuets early really shouldn’t matter Hide spoke up.

“H-Hey! Do you think it’s okay if we close up now? I had a really rough day and _desperately_ need to sleep for like… a year… at least.” Hide grinned at the psychotic girl, trying his best to look genuine, even though the majority of his reasoning for early departure was _directly_ related to her.

“…Sure…” She replied with a tone that set unnerved something within the blonde… But Hide was too wiped out and _just done_ with this day to care as he pushed himself off the counter and _finally_ turned off that ridiculous squeaky humming.

“Sweet!” Hide exclaimed turning off the last florescent light- _take THAT evil fake fly!_ And making his way to the back door after checking the front briefly. “Okay well, as fun as it’s been, I really do need to get home, so see ya!” The energetic blonde chirped before turning out of the back door and heading down the all too familiar alley that took him to his apartment. The road was murky with residue form the gloominess that had been present all through the day. Although he enjoyed rain and really any storms of all types, just gloomy for the sake of being gloomy bummed out the golden-haired man. But to his pleasure the sky had cleared while he was stuck in that white box of a store.

But just as Hide was about to exit the alley to the main street that would lead him back to his apartment he became aware of the figure trailing him… The prickly feeling at the back of his neck convinced him to turn around and confront said person, but the wind was suddenly knocked completely out of him as he found his back shoved up against the damp stones of the building beside him.

“Wha-” He hoarsely coughed out as he came face to face with a pair of eyes that he instantly recognized. A pair of eyes he had said goodbye to not a minute ago… But the eyes that normally looked upon him with jealousy or lust we’re now bearing a vicious tone.

“Hello Hide…” The smooth voice of his stalker hummed out, drawing her face much closer to his than the blonde would ever allow by his own free will.

“What are you doing?” Hide asked completely baffled at the situation he found himself in. _I knew she was pyscho but… what is she even doing?_ He wondered. His arms pushed uselessly against her firm grip, and although he did not have a particularly muscular build- opting more for a tall figure, he still thought he was _at least_ stronger than a girl! _Especially this girl!!_ But his flailing in her grasp was futile and only served to elicit an amused laugh from her.

“Oh, Hide…” She giggled at his wasted efforts, “ _My sweet Hide_ , you didn’t _really_ think you could push me off did you?” Her voice was dripping with wicked intent.

“I don’t-

“I bet not! Oh how _fooled_ you were! Did you really think someone like me would want a job at that pathetic store if you weren’t there? You see Hide this is all your fault.” Her voice grew soft at the end, bearing more envy than before.

“How does this have anything to do with me? You’re the crazy one who won’t leave me alone!” Hide grew defensive, struggling further against her grip.

“I was _happy!_ ” Her voice rang out in anger, her grip tightening around his arms and making him feel light-headed and weak against her, “I could’ve gone on like that! Watching you everyday, getting to spend hours with you, your so _pure_ , and the way you radiate warmth…” Her eyes fluttered closed in some sick pleasure at the memory of him, until she abruptly opened them back up upon him, “But then… You came in today so clearly distracted, which threw me off only slightly, that is… until I got a whiff of your scent…” Rage burned from her eyes into his own shocked, eyes reflecting an ochre color from the darkness of the night.

“I still don’t-

“It was _polluted_ ” she spat out the word making him flinch and press further against the wall just to get away from her, “Polluted with one of _them_!” she screeched in hatred. Hide couldn’t even respond, he had no words left. His mind was drowning in confusion, and his body steadily growing weaker the more he struggled. “But its all okay now…” She trailed off, her voice at ease, making Hide shiver at why she felt this sudden change of heart. “You’ll be with me soon…” She hovered in close to him again, inhaling sharply against his neck.

That’s when it hit him… He had heard of them before, but he didn’t realize how close they were to him.

“You’re…” He trailed off in fear at the smile she returned his word with.

“Yes… Very good Hide, I always knew you were smarter than you let on…” Hide began trembling with the realization that there was no hope left for him. It was the dead of night, in some back alley that no one would just happen down, and even if they did there was no way they could force her off of him, not considering what she truly was. Her head dipped close to his neck again, white puss foaming out of it…

“NOOO!” Hide wailed out in anguish, voice cracking as her hot breath blew against his pulsing jugular. If she bit him Hide would be forced to live a half-life. He would be completely dependent upon her, a _shell_ of a person… He roughly kicked up at her and using all his limited ability bashed his head against hers. She yelped out in pain, pulling away form him briefly. But his head was throbbing and he blew his only chance to escape as she seized him in her arms again, even _closer_ than before.

“Fine, have it your way!” She hissed in his ear, tossing his body against the far wall, and managing to knock him to the ground his sides stinging, and leaving him completely paralyzed.

_Is this really the end of me…_ Hide thought weakly, blinking very slowly as his attacker approached him once again. His whole life he had felt like he had this purpose. This reason to live that he just hadn’t discovered yet. _Was he… wrong?_ His whole life all he wanted to do was save someone… But…

Suddenly the girls approaching steps ceased, and Hide heard her direct a hiss at another approaching figure. _No! Run away! Please!_ Hide wanted to yell, but he could barely hold on to his consciousness…

“ _You_ ” the girl hissed with fury at the unfortunate stranger that the crumpled blonde could not see. “How _dare_ you show up here! You people make me _sick_!” She spat out, an aura of power surrounding her as her eyes filled with rage. “You think you can just _take_ what is rightfully mine so easily! Filthy machine!” The words startled the part of the blonde that could barely comprehend what the heck was happening around him. _Machine?_ His mind drifted back to the scent she claimed was on him. _Was that was she meant? A Machine?_ But that didn’t make any sense, Hide only went through his daily life, school then the store… _This really had to be the worst day of his life!_ He thought to himself, still puzzled by the scene unfolding before him.

A sick laugh echoed through the frigid late autumn air followed by, “Well look at that! You’re not even one of them! Just what are you then? Some disgusting half-breed? _You’re not even fit to be called machine, monster…_ ” Amber eyes fought desperately against the heaviness looming over them to hear the response, but the darkness consumed his vision all too soon…

♠ ♠ ♠

After several _hours_ of being yelled at and awkwardly witnessing several tedious arguments between his two co-workers, including one about weather or not the beans should steep for four minuets or four minuets _and thirty seconds,_ Kaneki finally took of his uniform and gently locked the door.

The nighttime air filled his body with a chill and hid breath blew out in clear streams, equal in coldness to that of the air surrounding him. The sky was clear with a crescent oddly cruel smile moon offering dim light across the city; it glistened off the pearly fluttering hair as darkness washed his surroundings. He still had to get to the convenience store before the night ended, and his humming body was protesting for energy that had been drained out of him through all the hectic day’s events. 

But as Kaneki neared the corner he had mapped out earlier in the day when he was headed to enroll at Kamii he found the lights of the convenience store, which was supposed to close in a minute, already off… Curiously he cocked his head to the side, and crept closer to peer inside the store. _Nope, there’s definitely no one in there…_ Just about to begin snooping further, his thoughts we’re interrupted by a blood-curdling screech from a nearby alley. A panicky feeling rose up in his stomach at the possibility that something had happened… He glanced around nervously for any bystanders before removing the eye patch from his glowing iridescent crimson eye, and replacing it over his molten silver one. He peeked his head down the alley, allowing his left eye’s superior vision to discern what the night was hiding from his human sense.

But the sight before him made him quiver with fear that he hadn’t expected. A man laid crumpled by the cracked pavement, his body oozing deep red blood as a woman lurked, practically drooling over him. _But this was no woman…_

Kaneki strode down the alleyway, he knew that this was too much of a coincidence; he knew who the stranger on the pavement had to be… Menacing eyes flicked up to meet his single flaming one as the girl’s advance stilled and her nostrils flared angrily at his presence.

“ _You!”_ She seethed at the ivory haired man, “How _dare_ you show up here! You people make me _sick!”_ She spat out, her eyes filled with rage directed solely upon him. “You think you can just _take_ what is rightfully mine so easily! _Filthy machine_!” But Kaneki continued to advance on her, he couldn’t let her have him, he _needed_ that man… But he also needed both eyes… So with great reluctance Kaneki lifted his hands to shed the medical patch he had switched to his right eye, and returned his gaze to the girl before him. Her eyes widened in slight shock at his heterochromatic eyes, before returning with a pleasantly amused look, “Well look at that! You’re not even one of them! Just what are you then? Some disgusting half-breed? _You’re not even fit to be called machine, monster…”_ She trailed off before lunging her body at his, claws ripped out from her body as he used his inhumane attributes to avoid each swipe she made at him. Her eyes we’re clouded with hysteria as she hectically laughed. Kaneki felt his hair swipe off as he barely dogged another hit; _he had to get Nagachika out of here!_ He swiftly kicked off the alley wall and swept himself around her back before releasing his own metallic advantages. Long liquid silver poured from his back and pieced through the air stabbing the diseased woman through her left eye, before pulling out and dropping her quivering body to the ground. Kaneki knew the CCG would pick up her body, so before anyone could come inquire about the ruckus he retracted the silver tendrils into his back, and scooped the unconscious man into his arms.

He stuck to the alleys while he made his way back to the apartments. If someone saw him carrying a heavily injured man through the street s of Tokyo at this hour, with his luminous red eye, they might… have a few questions… And he could NOT afford questions. His body was ticking, and humming with intensity over the fear that he would be discovered by the lanky body he held so tightly against his aching chest. It felt like his clockwork heart was going to beat out of his chest, and shatter across the grimy pavement. Only once he was finally within sight of the building did he feel his senses calming slightly, now taking on a more stealthy approach he tiptoed awkwardly up to his apartment.

Fumbling to get out the same devices he used earlier in the day, and not drop the chilling body pressed against himself, he carefully unlocked the door and kicked it closed before turning the lights on once again to the wreak of a room he was in before. He shimmed awkwardly about trying not to disturb anything as he walked down the narrow hallway leading to the bedroom. There he plopped the sleeping man upon the disheveled sheets, and finally turned his attention to look at the stranger he had been unwillingly stalking.

 

Kaneki couldn’t breathe.

His breath was stuck in his throat at the sight of this enigmatic stranger lying beside him.

The ticking within his chest speed up so rapidly that his body felt sluggish at the mere sight of this man. He felt like a child’s tin-toy being wound up too much, unable to control any of its own stuttering movements.

_My body feels so... weak..._

His breaths came out in wheezes, and gasps; the humming of his body was so intensified that it made him physically shake.

_This man was stunning…_ Even after being kicked around in the grime of the street, the way his golden hair caught the dim light of the room, and refracted it into Kaneki’s eyes made shivers run up and down his metal spine. His skin was almost bronze, and stretched across his soft features like he was a marble statue that the artist had spent his whole life crafting.

He couldn’t bear to look at him anymore, couldn’t bear to smell that soft pine that radiated off his body. Kaneki’s normally icy body was _burning_ , and the ticks of his heart we’re sporadic and continuously skipping. He turned his face away, as his patchwork body screamed out in longing. The tightness within his chest pushing him to quickly pull the covers over the blonde and flee the apartment to the safety of his own.

Once inside his own room he collapsed in a heap to the floor, breaths shallow and making a pathetic whistling sound on their way out, body overheating with an intense burning behind his left eye. He pressed his palm to his chest as his eyes fluttered closed, his mind being flooded with images of that silky hair, and bewitching scent, as the gears within his heart sputtered and throbbed painfully.

Swiftly the ticking of his heart ceased, and Kaneki felt his body shut down beneath him due to the scorching heat of his interior. One final thought running over and over again through his mind:

 

_What is happening to me...?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos! And again I'm sorry for how dry this chapter(and the previous ones) started, I promise that they will be much more like the ending of this one from here on out!

**Author's Note:**

> Yea.. Confusing...  
> I probably will fill you in on Kaneki's past in a later chapter but till then, it's up to your imagination! ٩(◦`꒳´◦)۶
> 
> Also I will try to update this on weekends, if I skip out please don't hate me- (it's because my ACT prep... and sheer laziness)


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